Recently I read about attachment theory and came to the sudden and painful realization that the problem isn’t the women I’ve been dating. The truth is that I’m 36 years old and have lived almost all of my adult life as a single man. I continue to succeed at my external focuses in life, but don’t have any success at building any kind of emotional and loving connection with a romantic partner. Week after week, month after month and year after year this same thing happens. (Have you experienced this before? Have you tried dating someone like this? Let me know in the comments below.) I conclude that she’s “not quite right” and move on to the next person. The usual sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach returns. I feel incredible excitement about the possibility of sparks flying.

Living my whole adult life as a single manĮvery time I meet someone new, the same thing happens. And you can watch the video version of this article below. I’ll share the 4 types of people according to attachment theory below, but first I’ll explain the problem I was facing. I knew this as soon as I came across “attachment theory” in an article by Mark Manson which describes the nature of emotional attachment between humans, and the four types of people in relationships. The brutal truth I discovered is that the problem is me, not the women I’ve been dating. There are no easy solutions, despite what the law of attraction gurus will tell you. The way to attract the perfect partner into your life is completely different than what most people believe. I now know this approach to life is total bullsh*t. I believed that all I had to do was keep on enjoying life, focus on my passion, identify the qualities I was looking for and soon enough I would attract the perfect partner. I used to believe the reason was because I hadn’t met the right person yet. I’ve been single for nearly all of my adult life, am still single, and I finally figured out what the problem is. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers.

Im.still growing up